Blessings in Disquise

After 3 lengthy conversations with the nurse (who could not tell me anything about what was going on with Kira), we made it into the doctor's office yesterday for the second time in one week.  Yuck.  The first time was her well baby where we found out she had an undetected ear infection.  So she was put on Amoxicillin and given 3 shots.  Well, Monday she woke up with a pretty awful fever.  She refused to eat all day (I think we finally got some yogurt into her right before bed).  And she was generally just icky all day.  I assumed, as did the nurse, it was just a reaction to her shots.  She was given DTaP, which is known to have all of those effects on the 4th and 5th shot.  No big deal.  Tuesday I noticed little red bumps all over her legs.  Now I am starting to think something is off.  She had a rash on the soles of her feet!  I have never seen bumps on the bottom of someone's feet.  So, I call the nurse again, who again has little to no information for me.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to dog the nurse too bad.  I am not terribly articulate, so I could see how she would have a hard time diagnosing anything without actually seeing it. But still, she told me just to keep an eye on it and if it gets worse to come in.  By Thursday, most of her body was covered in itchy little bumps.  Steve and I were discussing possible causes, when it occurred to him that Kira has all of the symptoms of chickenpox.  Crap.  I now have the nurse on speed dial.  Being as Kira has had her chickenpox vaccine and her bumps aren't all blisters yet, the nurse doesn't seem to think that is what it is.  She, however, has no idea what it might actually be.  So, ok, I give, I made an appointment.  Friday morning I woke up totally second guessing myself.  I figured it was probably just due to the new lotion we were putting on her or something.  My mom is pretty much one doctor's appointment away from Munchausen syndrome, so I am always hesitant to go in myself.  I don't want to be that mom who flips out over every small issue.  But I had already cancelled our Christmas party for Friday night.  Plus babysitting Saturday night.  And this had gone on long enough, it was time for action.  As it turned out, my mommy instinct yet again proved right on.  The doctor took one quick look at her and immediately knew what was going on.  She did not have chickenpox, but she did have hand, foot, and mouth disease.  It is a virus surprisingly similar to chickenpox and equally contagious.  Fortunately, it was not in her mouth like it usually is.  Unfortunately, it is all over her body as opposed to confining itself to hands, feet, and mouth.  I hate for my baby to be sick, especially with Christmas right around the corner, but there were some perks if I squint at the bright side.
I have been feeling somewhat disconnected with Kira lately.  Steve and I thought it would be SO fun to trade places for a semester, see how the other lives.  So, I went to school during the day and he did the online/at night thing.  Turns out, we kept the schedules we did for a reason.  He went stir crazy at home all the time with the littles.  I felt like I missed SO much not being home all day.  We are switching back next semester, no doubt.  My relationship with Kira changed significantly when Ariana came into the picture.  I was worried she would be jealous and take it out on the baby.  I underestimated her intelligence.  She has never taken it out on Aria, she takes it out on me.  I feel like she thinks I abandoned her in some small-ish way.  I know when she gets older and begins to see the larger world, not only the part that revolves around her, she will understand and we can still build an amazing relationship, but I still feel like we are missing something.  Not that I regret Ariana in anyway, basically, I just want to have my cake and eat it too.  It doesn't help that Kira was always a daddy's girl (as opposed to Ariana who is so attached to me I may have to have her surgically removed).  Now that she is spending so much time with Dad, he has become her go-to guy.  When she is hurt, when she is sad, when she needs something, she goes to him, not me.  As convenient as that sounds, it always breaks my heart that it isn't me she runs to.
Friday, though, was my day.  Ariana naps wonderfully for me, awfully for Steve.  It gave me a little bit of time to hang out with only Kira.  She wasn't feeling all that great, so I got the best cuddle time I have had with her pretty much since Ariana was born.  It felt amazing.  And the after effects are still strong today.  She wanted me.  Even when Steve was home all day, she came to me.  Wonderful.
I am sure things will all fall into place soon.  Steve and I are back on normal schedules starting January 18th.  Hopefully that will help our relationship.  The past year it has been pretty topsy turvy
We still haven't gotten Santa pictures taken yet!  Ugh...  Hopefully I can slide them in right before Christmas.  We were planning to go to Old Town Spring tomorrow, but I guess we can't in good conscious take our super bug to an area populated with children and their unsuspecting parents.  Oh well.  At least we got Christmas picture taken!  I'll post them next!  So many Christmas plans are out the window.  At least we can still go look at lights though!  I love Christmas!  And my dad will be here in Houston on Thursday, so I am stoked about that too.  It is going to be a fabulous, little at-home Christmas this year!  Assuming Ariana doesn't catch the hiv....  You may want to pray for us!                            

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