10.19.2010

I can't get over it

How much I love this life.  Lately I feel like I have done a lot of complaining.  I am not really sleeping.  My daughter is not really sleeping, she is borderline colic, she is a difficult child, perhaps even more difficult than I expected, perhaps raising 2 very young children is more difficult than I expected, perhaps raising just 1 is.  Part of me expects that I should be less thrilled with her.  But at the end of the day, it seems to me that the only rational thing to do is love her.  All of her, even the part that is waking me up every 3 hours, even the part that refuses to go back to sleep at 5 am.  I am not sure why, but this surprises me.  How much I can love these little creature takes me back.  Part of me wonders if I am just going through the motions, and I'll be honest, some days I am, but overall I am truly happy with my life.  It definitely needs a little revival and I am working on it, but overall it's a pretty good thing.
Last night things got a little crazy.  It had been a long day and it was nearing bedtime.  Steve was getting frustrated with the girls and went downstairs to get milk for them both.  He came back up, but then had to go back down for something, I am not sure what, possibly just a moment of quiet.  I was fixing Kira's bed, and Ariana was screaming.  I only have 2 hands, so unfortunately and as much as I hate it, sometimes she just has to wait.  Lucky for her, she has a sweet sister who is eager to help.  She abruptly stopped crying, which makes me nervous, so I ran in to check on them.  Kira had found her bottle on the desk, got it down and started feeding her, which made her very happy.  What a little mama and a wonderful helper I have.  When I came in and saw what she was doing I was astonished and amazed.  She just looked up at me like 'no problem mom, I got this.'  What an amazing life.    

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