I'm back!

Ah, it's been a week.  Looking back, there were many things that happened that would make me think it was not a good one, and yet I had a lot of fun, got some sleep, spent time with the things I love most.  Overall, I have to say this was a wonderful week in my life.  I am sure I will be blogging about some of the events: the zoo for sure!  For now, let me just say how blessed I must be. 
The biggest 'bad news' of the week was losing my breastmilk.  With Kira, my older daughter, ALL I wanted was to stop breastfeeding, but with Ariana, it was strangely the opposite, I wanted desperately to nurse her.  Unfortunately that was not in the cards. I was really disappointed.  But honestly, I am a bottle feeder.  That is really all there is to it.  I beat myself up so bad for quitting on Kira, but at the end of the year, it changed me as a mother in a positive way.  And it has had the same results with Ariana.  I am a better mother when I am not breastfeeding.  In the past week, Ariana has gotten on a routine (finally, praise the Lord!).  She slept 5 hours last night!!!    I haven't gotten that much sleep in weeks.  I am pretty convinced that my milk has been gone a while and I was just in denial.  It explains a lot: why Ariana is constantly screaming like we are starving her (because we are), why she wasn't gaining weight like she was suppose to.  So despite the initial guilt and feeling that I wasn't ready to stop, going back to a bottle mama was a good thing in my life.
It seems to me that we must be on the right path in our lives: we received another check from the college.  We should be getting significantly more soon, but this week we received just enough to buy my early birthday present: a new netbook.  I love it!  And now I can talk to you from all over, thrilling!  For me at least, haha.  Th best part was the feeling of support I got from Steve.  I often feel that he doesn't take me seriously, that he feels like I get on my kicks and he just has to ride it out until I get bored and move to something else.  It almost seems like he is seeing how serious I am about Paws and Palaces and how far that is going, now he has decided that I could make this work after all.  We'll see.  For the most part, I enjoy all of the things I have been starting.  Most of all, I really enjoy him looking at me like a powerful person again. 
As Friday night draws to a close, I look back on a relaxing week.  A week to get things done and gather myself together after feeling like I have been falling apart.  Today the girls and I just hung around the house.  We did some picking up, lots of dishes.   I have been working on their Halloween costumes, which need to be finished by Sunday.  We were still in our pjs until 6 when we had to get ready to go to LIFE group, which is always enjoyable.  Tomorrow we are headed to the Renaissance Festival!  I'll let you know how it goes...    

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